More than I thought

This was a much better Christmas than I expected.
Confession: I actually wasn't looking foreward to Christmas.

I'm glad that we could do things as a family today, it was really nice. It was also really nice to bond with my little bro over video games and dutch blitz. We even go to talking about God and how he is a trinity and what that means. It was pretty cool.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

He's the remedy

I've been thinking a lot recently about how inadequate I am;
how broken and messed up and mixed up I am.
And how many times I've fallen and strayed away.
And how much I really don't deserve to be saved,
and don't deserve His grace or love or compassion,
because of all the times I have forgotten about Him
and do things my own way
and don't follow His will.

So, I'm incredibly thankful for God's unconditional love and faithfulness.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

I'm finally going to rest in his presence,
soak him in and just be with him.
With that being said, I think this will be a good Christmas holiday.

Nueva

Off with the old,
I'm ready for the new.
a new attitude,
a new perspective,
a new pace.
Just new, new, new, new, new.
This is a formal goodbye to complacency;
ADIEU!

Rawr.

As of late I've been subject to these little creeping doubts, and I don't much like it.

It shouldn't be this common

Complacency is that familiar turn off from the straight and narrow that continually presents itself. This turn off is marked with big neon signs practically shouting, "Turn this way!!" And many times we do, maybe because we get distracted or maybe because it's a familiar place. Whatever be the reason, walking down this new road really takes it's toll. It can break through resolves and passions, it can eat away persistence and strength, until we finally realize that we need to turn around. We then trudge back to the true road, maybe a little ashamed and embarrassed, maybe a few bruises and scratches, but ready to continue down the narrow road; definitely determined not to make a wrong turn again.
But sadly, many people never come to this realization and they keep walking down the path of destruction. Never fully understanding that this path was not meant for them.

I wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

The winter sun shines dull through the cold white sky,
I wish it were summer.
In this house I must stay, like a princess locked in a tower,
simply because I have nowhere to go and no one to see.
I wish it were summer.

I'm nothing without You

I need direction, some form of indication of the path that should be taken, maybe a revelation. I don't want to be mistaken on the decision I should be making.

Thoughts on community

There are so many people that are lost and broken and may not even know it. They go along in their lives making choices depending on what feels right, and that could really be anything. Most of it depends on our culture-- what is considered the norm. And sadly, living a godly life is not the norm, in fact it's polar opposite of the norm. This makes me feel disheartened sometimes, because continually fighting the norm is very wearing and if you let it, it'll tear you right down. This happens more when I am constantly around non-believers, because I do start to conform my behaviours and attitudes to that of everyone else and I usually don't notice at first. This is one the the reasons that I think it is so important to consistanly meet and fellowship and study God's Word with a group of believers. Provided that these believers are committed to encourage, challenge and build one another up, as well as studying God's Word. 

Community-- one word to sum it all up. We all need a good strong community, were we can be vulnerable, open, and trusting with each other. The only thing, is that I don't seem to be part of a community for very long. The communities that I have had a privilege to be a part of have only been temporary, but God has continually blessed me and provided for me in just the ways that I need. Which sometimes, I can forget that he knows my every need and he will provide for me.
Through being 'taken away' from different communities, I have learned a lot. I've learned that joy is not circumstantial, that trusting in God is essential, and that no matter what happens--no matter what people are in my life or not in my life or how many friends I do or don't have--God will provide. God always provides. God always keeps his promises and God is always faithful. And so, from knowing this,
I can bask in His peace.

We're desperate chasing down the love to just survive

There are so many things that we chase after,
our greedy hearts tellin us to run faster.
Often our pursuits are worthless
and we find ourselves left in distress.
Is it really worth it--
the heart ache, turned heart break
that leaves us reeling,
with arms stretched towards the ceiling.
No!
So we ask ourselves:
"how do I fill this hole;
this massive void inside my soul?"
The answer's simple,
it's not a riddle.
God's love will fill the space,
and you'll be chasing and racing after only one taste.

Runnin away should be a viable option..

Things that frustrate me at the moment:

-studentawards.com
-scholarshipscanada.com
-permutations and combinations
-some specific people
-my family
-the fact that I'll probably never get to bible school because of all this resistance I'm meeting in trying to apply and trying to figure out scholarships.
-the fact that I'm going to end being the crazy, old, lonely cat lady that lives at the end of the street.
-my social teacher
-the fact that my neck muscles are always so sore and that I'm always so tired.

As an aside: I'm thankful for compassionate people.

Smile. It's not the end of the world.

Behind these emotionless eyes,
there's the tears of yesterday,
the pain of today,
and the fears of tomorrow.

Behind these tear stained eyes
is the longing for your presence.

becuase all we really want is a little peace, love and hope.
so Father, I lay myself before,
please fill me up and make me more.

If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love,
just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:10-11



God wants to fill us up with his joy so that we don't have to rely on the happiness of this world. Which is a much cheaper version of his joy. Think about it, all we have to do is love God and obey him out of love and he showers abundant promises on us. Promises that he will keep becuase he is a faithful God. So instead of trying to pursue wordly happiness that doesn't last, let God's abundant joy fill you up.

“Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.”
-Jack Kerouac


I'm going to be different and stay different,
so I can make a difference.
I'm a child of God; set apart,
I know this in my heart.
So why try fitting in?
My home is not on this earth.
And I know I've had a sin nature since birth,
but I am not a slave to the grave, no!
To righteousness I am a slave,
a shining light to the depraved.
Against conformity I will rise,
in pursuit of Jesus Christ, my prize.
 
 

"Abide in Me, and I in you"

To abide in Christ is to choose his side
and soak in his presence,
and understand his plan is the best,
far more superior than the rest.
And then, to love him with the very depths of our hearts,
because as God's children, we've been set apart from the start
for a most perfect love.
So abide.
God's the tide,
filling up our cups with more of him
time and time again.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Come and let Your glory, come and let Your glory fall.

Our brains are like a Dixie cup and God is like the ocean.
There's no way that we can fully comprehend His power,
but He keeps filling up our Dixie cup so we can experience
a portion of Him, little by little.



**Analogy courteousy of Steve

Despite what we’ve done we’re not alone, we're closer than we think to home.

Being filled with God's peace is..
renewing, rejuvenating, revitalizing, refreshing, relaxing;
pure relief of stress, worries, troubles, pressures.

I love my Jesus, deep down in my heart.

What a Savior, what a King.

You are the Lord, my Redeemer.
I AM YOURS.
You are the Holy One of Israel.
I AM YOURS.
You take hold of my right hand.
I AM YOURS.
You triumph over my attackers.
I AM YOURS.
You give me hope to face another day.
I AM YOURS.
You are faithful and trustworthy.
I AM YOURS.

Who I am hates who I've been

So I'll strive to fix these festering flaws
like nasty little slivers, they work their way deeper and deeper
through my flesh towards my heart.
I didn't notice them before now
but they've been there awhile,
growing and becoming part of who I am.
Don't get me wrong, I know no one is perfect,
but these traits don't belong in my life
if my life is a life for God.
I'm done sleepwalking;
I'm awake and I'm alive.

Motivation/inspiration with which I'm starting my day.

Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

Take the time to look around you.

Purity,
Righteousness,
Innocence,
Integrity,
what's the point?

It's all about,
Lust,
Instant gratification,
Doing what feels good,
I mean, that's way more fun,
right?

...That's what the world says.
That's what is shoved down our throats through
tv shows,
movies,
magazines,
books,
commercials,
billboards.
It's EVERYWHERE.

What's your defence against the influence?

Wise words

"If you don't stand for something,
you'll fall for anything."

"Lord I don't know where all this is going,
or how it all works out.
Lead me to peace that is pass understanding
a peace beyond all doubt."

Quote of the day:

"To witness means you must teach. To teach means you must understand. To understand means you must know not only what you believe, but also what they believe."

I heard someone pray:

"Lord we want to be captivated by you and nothing else."

I was struck by the beauty and simplicity of this statement, and I thought, "yeah, that is what I need". As I thought about this statement more, I realized that my life is so full of useless things and distractions that captivate me, when I should be captivated by God and only God.
It makes me sad to think about this; that I put creations before the Creator.
It also gives me determination to try to put God on the thrown of my life; to make a conscience choice each day to turn my praises toward God and spend much more time with him.

You know what I need?
Less distractions y mas fuego!

There's always a choice

I'm reminded once again that
everything is a choice.

We can choose
to love,
to bask on God's joy,
to be kind,
to have patience,
to have faith,
to have self-control,
to forgive others,
and even to forgive ourselves.

But we can also choose
to hurt,
to throw away God's joy,
to discourage,
to be selfish,
to give up,
to become apathetic,
to hold grudges against others,
and against ourselves.

So, "let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for he who promised is faithful."
(Hebrews 10:23)

Sunsets

Can you imagine...
living in a city filled with nearly 15 million people,
where you attend school on weekends as well as weekdays, only having Sunday off,
because education is of the utmost importance to have a successful life?
Can you imagine...
living in a city that is so shrouded by smog that stars aren't visible
and sunsets or sunrises are hidden by the air pollution?

If you can imagine this, then welcome to Beijing.

I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake

"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdoms cause
As I walk from Earth into Eternity"


Ps I'm thankful for my grade 6 girls.

Rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on, but not complaining and hardly poetic.

I'll wait for this shadow to lift,
or I"ll try my best to out think it.
It seems to put a big rift
between me and the sonlight.
And I'll try to stop giving away
the things that are supposed to stay
in my soul,
and in my heart.
They're not meant to be apart.
I'm now more aware
of what is taking place
and what is taking the place
of the gifts I've been given.
I need to start living
and striving
and not backing down
or giving in
or giving up
or giving away what I need.


Ps I'm thankful for affirmation from a friend,
and being taken care of when I don't have a lunch.

Maybe I'll just drop out and move to Mexico..

I miss the days when more studying ensures a better test mark.

How long until the next rest stop?

I run and run and run,
with no where to go,
and no where to hide,
and no where to go to be found.
The shadow of my past
constantly, unceasingly
chasing me down.
At first the running felt freeing,
but I know now all I'm doing is fleeing.

What a reminder..

"My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.
Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.

One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,
and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done."


Psalm 62


Ps I'm thankful for the friends that I can be myself around.

I'm not going to fight this any more,
my fight has been extinguished to nothing
more than a flicker.
Which I welcome because I'm tired of how we bicker
and banter back and forth.
Arguing never solved anything,
especially because we both can't win.
So I'll cast aside my pride and
trust you.


Ps I'm thankful for HC, Doctor Who, people saying "hi" to me in the halls,
and when you looked on google for me to find the link for our social assignment,
 even though I didn't ask you to.

Here I am, Lord send me.

Here I stand,
with raised up hands,
in surrender to You.
Throw away my complacency,
and fill me up so I can see,
it's all about You.
I'm living for You.
Your glory,
Your love,
Your mercy and grace.
I want to see Your beautiful face,
and see You smile
and nod to me approvingly.
I know You're here,
inside of me,
and no fear will live in me,
because it's all about You.
Your power,
You might,
and Your endless, gracious love.
So Lord, I pray,
please give me strength and confidence,
for the things I'll face today.

Ps I'm thankful for fellowship and RAOK and silly fun camp songs.

The sun has eclipsed my doubts

On this beautiful summer like day,
with the sunshine rays
hot enough to burn my face,
I am filled with peace and love and joy.
I want to hold onto this,
and stay in this moment of bliss,
and never be in want.
To want what you can't have
and ignore what's given to you
is something we all do,
and it's sad.

Idk why I let it happen.

"A childlike love I had
When we first began
We ran and I fell behind
I’ve been stuck here all this time
You waited like a lover
Who couldn’t let go of his bride
I turned my back away from You
Didn’t shed a tear or cry

But I’m falling for You now
I’m coming back to the place where we parted
It’s for real this time
So I’ll be here waiting where we started"

Ps I'm thankful for adult friends to talk to and accountability partners.

The edge I'm sliding over slowly

I'm so close to the edge,
the slightest nudge could push me off.
Everything I need to do and should have done
is a constant weight on my shoulders.
I'm exhausted and tired of EVERYTHING.

... just one more day,
then I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Ps I'm thankful for friends that check up on me.

A perfect end to a perfect day. (HA)

And I'm already losing steam.
I wonder how long I can keep going.
I'm tired in more ways than one.
Sometimes I just wanna throw down all my responsibilities
and have some fun.

Ps I'm thankful for HC and pen pals from China

Do not conform to the pattern of this world aka my struggle with social class

I have a very different perspective on things, especially in social.
I just think about things differently and see things in a different light,
which means I don't interpret the sources "right".
Which means I suck at multiple choice questions.
Which therefore means, if people have different perspectives,
they are forced to conform them to be "right".
What a joy.

Remember when we were friends?

You whisper,
then glance at me,
not wanting me to hear your profanity.
You talk to me like a child;
like I'm so naive;
like I'm this goody-two-shoes-little-Christian-girl.
You must not know me.
So just stop judging me.
Stop stereotyping me.
I'm sick of it.

If

I see you call out for help,
when you think no one is looking.
You're broken, deep down inside.
And you keep looking for answers;
for a quick-fix solution.
If you'd listen to me,
I'd tell you that Jesus can heal you,
if you let him.
If you'd listen,
I'd tell you that Jesus has a love for you that will fill you up and sustain you.
If you'd listen to me,
I'd tell you that Jesus gives rest to the weary and burdened.
...I know you think I'm cliche

If only you'd listen to me,
but I barely even know you.

Where are you??

You say you want to do this,
but your actions don't seem to match up.
You say I'm taking over,
but you don't want to share the responsibility.
You say you don't enjoy it,
but yet you're still doing it.

It's not a 2 hour responsibility.
It's so much more than that.
I told you once,
do I have to use a big neon sign next time?

More thanksgiving, less complaining...

I'm thankful that I do have people to talk to at school and that I'm not a complete loner.
I'm thankful that I generally understand math and I'm not completely lost.
I'm thankful that I'm starting to understand ideology stuff more.
I'm thankful that I have a small group full of girls that keep coming back week after week, even though I'm not the best teacher and I'm so thankful that they are so hungry for God and his love. I'm so blessed to be in a leadership role like this.
I'm thankful that God has given me some friends that genuinely care about me and just really get me the majority of the time.
I'm also thankful for friends that take me as I am; friends that I can be completely weird around, just let loose and instead of starring at me like I've gone off the deep end, they join right in.

**Side Note: you know have a good friend, when you

 accidently spit on them and they honestly

 don't care.

I'm thankful for the gifts and abilities God has given. Over the past year, I've learned to accept the gifts that I do have and I've been learning how to use them, instead of sitting around wishing I had different abilities and gifts.



A day like today

This is just one of those days,
where I feel like crying,
and I don't know why.
The desire isn't accompanied by a good reason.
I guess being overwhelmed is halfway to a good reason.
But what am I overwhelmed with?
Nothing? That would be a lie.
Everything? That isn't completely true.
Maybe it's a mixture of too much everything and not enough nothing.
And complaining never made anyone happy.
So why do I do it so much?

Thanksgiving Thoughts

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18:
Be joyful always; pray continually;
give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I've decided that this will be a goal for me,

instead of always complaining.

Things rarely happen as planned and

continual disappointment can be draining.

Instead of focusing on things going my way,

I should praise God for everything he has provided.

I need to look towards Him and pray,

and hold onto His joy.

My knuckles may be white from my grip,

but I'm not giving up.

 I'm not going to let my determination slip,

I'll be basking in God's glory and joy.

Fin de Semana

This weekend was one of the better ones.

Friday finished with Bible study. I'm really excited to be going to Bible study and to have a Christian community that I can start to belong to. And to just have some real fun, like riding around in shopping carts, or playing capture the flag in the river bottom.

God also grabbed my attention this weekend and was kinda like, "Hello! Don't forget about Me!"
Joshua 1:8-9 pretty much sums it up:

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth;

meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful

to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous

and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and

courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged,

for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

We spent the rest of the weekend in Red Deer with my parent's friends from OBC. They have a girl that is a year younger than me and a boy a few years younger than Lonnie.  It was great because I got to have a really good heart-to-heart with Katie about living like a Christian at school and about getting out of the rut that can be created by being with Christian friends at school. We also made an attempt at being artistic, with acrylic paints. It was fun, but I was once again reminded that I'm not artistic.

And now I'm looking forward to the next weekend because....
DAVID CROWDER BAND.
And I'm super ecstatic for the Halloween weekend. JUST. SO. PUMPED.

This is probably just a phase...

Tick toc,
time stops.
I'm slowly falling,
into your arms.
You work your magic;
to make me feel safe from harm.

Oh the way you look at me
with a smile on your face.
I'm glad you understand,
that this whole thing isn't a race.
You're determination has finally gotten to me,
but I'm still keeping my guard up,
I can't let it down that easily.

A Day in the Life

Motto for my days at school:

"Life isn't fair and anyone who says otherwise is selling something."
------------------

Highschool in a nutshell:

"Walking down a lonely road
Singing an empty song
Looking for a friend to trust
Somewhere to belong
Searching for a grain of truth
When pain is the only thing real
Looking for the key to life
But guarding the way we feel"

Take me as I am.

Here I am.
Arms open wide.
Use me, mold me, break me, renew me.
I'm Yours.

Team J-E-S-U-S.

I'm sorry, but I don't love vampires. I don't even like them. Call me crazy for not wanting "a corpse, animated by an undeparted soul or demon, that periodically leaves the grave and disturbs the living."
I'm more than happy staying away from this weird craze for vampires. Why would I want to be filling my mind with the delusions that a vampire could protect, be trusted, be selfless, be sacrificial, and actually love. Since when are demons capable of such qualities. These qualities belong to Jesus and Jesus won't suck my blood. Jesus is faithful and trustworthy. He proved his selflessness when He died the most painful death to free all of us incredibly undeserving, broken people. This was the sacrifice of an eternity. And love, Jesus is love-- unending, undying, unconditional, satisfying love.
Jesus has any vampire 'stud' beat hands down. I'd sooner spend my time strengthening my relationship with Jesus, than dreaming up a fantasy involving a vampire boyfriend.
And besides, I really don't want to give the devil a foothold into my life.

Sacrificial Love

Something that's needed,
so it's completed,
without a second thought.
Self was left behind,
joy we were able to find,
all while serving the Lord.

Breaking the monotony of the day

I spy you walking towards me,
our eyes lock,
hearts stop,
time slows,
smiles grow.

Then reality hits me in the form of a locker door.

If you're lost, Jesus can show you the way.

How can people be so consumed with the world??
So consumed with buying and wanting.

"Oh, look at that new ipod, I need it cuz it looks cool."

"Now what I need is that new 4G Google Android cell phone."

"Buying this hoodie will make me feel like someone special."

"Buying that CD will make me really happy."

Doesn't anyone realize that those plastic manufactured things aren't cutting it?
That they aren't filling the void deep inside of them?
That these material things aren't satisfying them?
Now, I am left to ask the question:

Where is the love?

Or, an even better question:

Why don't they know about the love?

The time just slips away

Every day we need to fight the fight that is unseen.
But more often than not, the significance is lost
and we forget about this life and death battle.
Our priorities change over time and this is placed
as last to do-- when we have the time.

Instead of waiting for time,
why not make time?

Welcome to Social 30

Be careful little one,
the world is full of lies.
Propaganda isn't only from tales of old.
Even now they seek to brainwash us.
Be careful little one,
don't believe everything you read.
Don't be a sponge.
Think for yourself,
don't be afraid if you stand alone.

Whatever you do,
seek out the truth and never look back.

This world is not my home

I'm different because I don't go to parties and get drunk on Friday nights,
instead I go to Bible study to have a good time.
I'm different because I make efforts to love everyone
and to not judge their actions past or present.
I'm different because I pursue God, righteousness and integrity.
Because I'm different, most people keep their distance.
Especially at school.

Sometimes I hate being different.

Evens so, I'm not changing anytime soon.

Some learning and some growing

This year is filled with so many changes and new responsibilities.
I'm slowly getting used to the idea of it all.
But there are still those moments where I stop and think:
What am I getting myself into?!

The Veiled Reality

Everything has changed, between you and me.
Don't you see?
You're pushing me away.
Our friendship is continuing to fray.
But I can see through the masks you wear,
I want you to know that I really care.
And honestly,
I don't buy the act you put on.
I know the struggles you're going through,
and I wish they were gone.
But you lie to yourself and say,
"It's all going to be okay."
The reality is, it's not.
The world has nothing to offer you,
I wish you'd understand.
It breaks my heart to see you like this,
struggling in the world; drowning in the abyss.

Watching the trees, swaying in the breeze.

My mind feels empty and full at the same time.
I want to write, but can't conjure up a good rhyme.
I want to be creative, but can think of nothing.
I'm not going to complain, cuz that's not a fun game.
Now I shall ponder things that are deep,
...who am I kidding?? I'm going to sleep!

Yo tengo alegria en mi corazon. (DONDE?)

Joy.
Everyone pursues it.
Numerous mistake happiness for it.
Few people know the difference.
Less people have it.
It doesn't come prepackaged
nor does it bear a price tag.
Are you searching for joy?
Just open your heart to God.
Surrender and open,
then beautiful things happen.

If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

I figured it was about time to reflect on my summer and all the things that God has taught me. Looking back I was a little surprised that I grew so much through God. I guess I wasn't expecting that much this summer. Thinking about that now, it was silly of me to think that God wouldn't be growing me.

Mexico:

~ I was amazed and blessed by how hospitable the families were. Everywhere we stayed they were more than willing to give up their beds for us. Time and time again they made sacrifice after sacrifice for us without thinking twice.
~ Love is not limited by language or race. We played tag, hide-and-go-seek, and caught frogs with the kids. They are so happy go lucky and love so easily.
~ Tim, the missionary looks for every opportunity to share God with the people that he talks to. That was an eye opener for me, that I need to be doing that. I need to be making a conscience effort to look for opportunities to bring up God in my conversations and know that I have no reason to be ashamed of it, either.
~ They don't put stock in material possessions. They are more concerned with the things that actually matter, like building relationships and showing God's love. They aren't worried about how many activities they can fit into their days so they can feel 'productive'. Their sense of productivity comes from furthering their relationships and living out God's characteristics.
---> This was the biggest lesson that I came away with. I like to have schedules and have everything organized and what not and I think that sometimes I forget about the more important things. This was a very helpful lesson to learn before camp started because I was able to be more relaxed and less up-tight.
~ There was one girl, her name was Brittany and she was such a sweetheart.  It was so cool to see how much love she had to give away. Every time she saw me, it was like she hadn't seen me in forever and she'd come up and give me a great big hug.

Camp:

~ I was very blessed to co-counsel with Hannah my first week of camp. We worked really well together and I really appreciated her godly wisdom that she shared with our girls.
~ Since I was on Kitchen for a week, I really gained a huge appreciation for what they do. It is an awful lot of work and they serve with a willing heart.
---> After having to tray raw bacon, I no longer can enjoy it.
---> I enjoyed getting to know the girls in the kitchen and had a pretty good week.
~ I discovered this summer that I LOVE being at the fort. It is an incredibly atmosphere-- such an amazing community. And if you're a little late from something, no one minds. (Which was great for me because I tend to be late.)
---> I was so blessed to co-counsel with Val.
---> I was at the fort during the jr. high camp and I discovered that I have a love for jr. highers. I loved pouring into them and I was so sad to see them go. I wanted to keep them.
And now, I'm co-leading a grade 6 girls small group at youth group. At the beginning of the summer I never would have thought that I would be doing that.
~ The last week at camp, I had a cabin of 7 little girls all by myself. At first I was shocked, then nervous and I started to doubt myself. Thankfully I have amazing people in my life that kept reassuring me and slowly over the weekend before my confidence was built back up. I learned an incredible amount that week:
---> God showed me how to have an abundance in patient and that I need to take my days moment by moment and look for joy in each moment and to really take joy in my girls.
---> God also showed me how to love these girls unconditionally, especially when they were being down right annoying.

Some fantastico moments I don't want to forget:

- (last week of camp) One day my girls left me some flowers on my pillow for me. The next day I came into the cabin after skill and they all said excitedly, "Look what we put on your bed for you." I go over, but I don't see anything on my bed. Still very excited, they say, "Look on your pillow! It's a crayfish!!"
Not what I was expecting!!!
- (last week of camp) One of my campers grandparents came to pick her up. Before they left, her gramma gave me a big hug and said, "Thank you so much, you've investing in their lives."
If not any other time during the summer, I knew then that I was right where God wanted me.
- (week at the fort) One of my girls came to me after talking with Val for awhile and said, "Star! I just committed my life to Christ." To see the look of joy on her face was priceless. I was so incredibly happy for her. She said that after she made that decision she felt so much peace.
- (last week of camp) At closing chapel, I was sitting with all my girls and Garrett was saying that before the campers leave they should thank their counselors. My girls apparently couldn't wait. They all stood up and smothered me with hugs. (I at this point was still sitting down)

---
Confessions:
Even though I learned quite a bit, It probably would have been better if I had read my Bible and prayed consistently. Even now I'm not doing that.
I have a habit of pretending, acting and sometimes even believing that I have all the answers. I don't. So Jayda, just stop pretending.

A potentially unbreakable cycle?

I've been so wrong all along,
putting my worth in what I've done.
I get distracted so easily
and allow the world to almost consume me.
Why do I insist on looking elsewhere
instead of running into your care?
I hate how much I stray away
when I know I should stay.
How can I so easily forget
that His love for me is passionate?
Lord, this is my plea,
please pick me up and strengthen me.

Fabricated Safety

She has been protected for so long; lost in a bubble of bliss and ignorance. Tea parties, sunshine, smiles, and daises. She is so unaware of the cruelty and injustice that plagues the air around her. Now her fabricated safety is at high risk, the cold sharp talons of reality have her in its grip. The talons tear into her bubble and the world seeps in, tainting her soft clean skin. She is knocked down to the ground from the shock of reality. Everywhere she looks she sees horror, destruction, chaos, and lies.

Voices penetrate her skull, demanding her attention:


“You’re not good enough.”


“You’re useless.”


“You’re not pretty enough.”


“So don’t. even. try.


The blinding darkness has set in and makes its home around her, suffocating and thick. Her last ounce of hope seems to be smothered.
Unexpectedly, she catches a glimpse of pure white light that burns through the shadows with honesty, integrity and goodness. And then it is gone. This small light has renewed her hope and tightly she clings to it.

At seeing this, the chatter commences and tells her:


“You are worthless so give in and give up.”


And so begins a journey for another lost daughter.

It is what it is

I recall, you caught my eye,
smiled and said "hi".
I returned the smile and said "good bye".
And was on my way away from you.

My name is STAR

Do everything without complaining or arguing,
so that you may become blameless and pure,
children of God without fault in a crooked and
depraved generation, in which you shine like stars
in the universe as you hold out the word of life—
in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that
I did not run or labor for nothing.
Philippians 2:14-16


This is my vow and goal of sorts for the new coming school year and the time beyond. I am excited yet nervous at the same time because being a light and shining like the stars is a huge responsibility. But I am eager to see God use me and work through me in my school. And I know that my Lord will strengthen me and help me and that I have nothing to fear.
So I am praying that I will not throw away my confidence like I have done many times in the past and I'm praying that I will not lose sight on my goal; my ambition; my purpose.

In God I Trust

A new chance, a new day, a new way.
A new choice, a new voice, a new road.

Will their hearts be open or closed?

We Lost It All

I'm guarding my heart, so don't even try.
For the last time I'm wiping my tears dry.
Whenever we end up meeting,
my heart surely takes a beating.
Please don't play around with my emotions,
and don't make a big commotion.
Everything's changed, nothings the same,
I'm so tired of playing this game.
And I'm sick of falling,
every time I hear your voice calling.
So please don't try to hold my hand,
I know you had it planned.
Just let me be,
I desire to be free.

Warrior Princess (for Jess)

She is a warrior princess.
When she wears sweat pants, she means business.
Fashions and trends don't concern her.
She puts her focus on what's before her.
She doesn't need a million maids.
She seeks independence, but in her Father's name.
Through trying times, she's found the secret of life.
It consists of four letters, and it changes lives.
It is love, and she uses it's full power.
For leadership,
and reassuring, comforting and healing others.
She loves in the name of the Lord,
because with his grace we can be restored.

Princess Dress (for Linds)

There is a beautiful brown haired girl,
and in her princess dress she twirls.
She wears in her a tulip or daisy,
she keeps herself busy; she's far from lazy.
She writes poems of love,
and sings with the sweet voice of a dove.
In the meadow she sits to think,
gazing at the tress dressed in pink.
All the while waiting for prince charming,
she hopes he's a Dutch boy into farming.
Oh what a life with chickens and cows,
she won't settle for less, that's her vow.
So she waits patiently for the perfect one,
as does her father with a loaded gun.

Something that's not

You're always
wanting
and searching
and hoping
and waiting

For the perfect one
who will
love perfectly
live perfectly
create special moments perfectly and
be perfectly

Don't you know,
the perfect one is
a myth
a delusion
a fiction
sheer imagination

Only God can
love you perfectly
fill your void perfectly
give you peace perfectly and
hold you perfectly
So, will you let Him?

becuase I care

Dear Girl,
You are in for a world of trouble and heart ache.
You should really get out while you still can.
Maybe it seems like everything is going fine now,
but in a few months it'll fall apart.
Trust me,
these kinds of things never last.
You're just another victim of the season.
Sorry I had to be the one to tell you.

From,
an observant bystander.

I can’t suppress it anymore

Maybe I'll feel better if I go stand on my front door step and screeeeaam at the world...

... kay, I'll be right back.

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up

Last night was pretty fun./ I'm so glad he didn't ditch me for his gf./ He really is a nice guy and his family was so nice too./ Dancing wasn't a complete disaster, thank goodness./ An Fm Static song was definately played during the grad video and that made me smile.

I just want to be at camp so bad./ All these set backs are killing me./ How can I wait until August 2nd, now??/ I really hope that I can go out sooner.

Mexico is coming soon./ I can't wait to play with all those cute little Mexican kids./ Deep down I am Mexican and I should have been born in Mexico.
(And if you try to play around with her emotions
I'm gunna punch you in your stupid justin-bieber-face.)

I hate this feeling of loneliness and emptiness that sometimes sneaks up on me. It wears me out and tears me down. And I know deep down that I have no reason to feel like this, because of God's love for me. Yet somehow I end up sinking into those feelings over and over. sigh. ---That's the feeling I had after grad and sucked.

If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew

I had seen Him around here before. He didn't wear the look of wealth, but simplicity. Yet somehow, He carried an air of importance. And when we made eye contact, there was some kind of twinkle or glow in His eyes. I didn't know why His eyes were so different, but one day it struck me. It was love! And joy! Both in their purest forms. And His expressions; they were so strange. Like He knew me and even... understood me.

A time later while I was standing in my yard, He walked right up to me and told me to leave everything behind and follow Him. I looked over my shoulder at my house and began to imagine all my possessions and treasures. How could I live without them? How could I he happy without them? They were my life; they had been for so long. When I looked back at Him, I was drawn in and mesmerized by His eyes. They were so kind and reassuring. It sounds foolish, but with that look, I knew He loved me. I knew He loved me more than I could love the things that filled my house. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that I needed to follow this man. Chocked by all the emotions swelling inside my throat and my heart, I managed to whisper, "I will."

I didn't know it at the time, but that decision was the spark of a huge change in my life. After I left my house and all my things to follow this strange, mysterious, wonderful man, I came to realize how to really live --seize the day, make the most out of every moment, or how ever you choose to phrase it.

Those two whispered words were the beginning of my new life. Now, don't misunderstand the reality-- it wasn't always pie in the sky by and by. There were days, weeks, and even months when it was so painfully hard for me to keep walking with Him. There were times when I got lost because I strayed from Him and took a wrong turn. Or times when I purposefully ran the opposite way. But He had so much patience and forgiveness for me, time and time again. For he would always go out after me and bring me back, because his love never failed.

She's worth more than she's ever dreamed of.

Darling, your emptiness can be filled. I believe this without a shadow of a doubt. God wants to fill this hole inside of you. He can do this with a relationship with you. And lovely, he is waiting for a strong and intimate relationship with you. He wants you as you are. You don't have to change anything about yourself. I love this about God; that we can come to him so completely broken and a huge mess and he will take us-- no matter what. And God will use his relationship with us to change us and teach us.
Taking time to get to know Him and grow in Him by reading the Bible and praying is more than worth it. It's hard to to get to know someone if you don't spend time with them. One of the mistakes I made was thinking that I would be stronger in my faith and relationship with God almost immediately. And when that didn't happen within a few days, I'd get frustrated and discouraged. God eventually showed me that just like other relationships take time to form and strengthen, so does my relationship with Him. I have to take the time and make the time to read my Bible and pray. Through those things, God reveals himself to us more and more.
This is the only relationship that can transform our lives, fill our emptiness, and give us a purpose.

 And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17b-19

For my brown eyed girl.

For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Isaiah 41:13

This is a promise from God, for you-- His daughter. God doesn't expect us to try to make it through our life on our own, leaning on our own strength. God knows how hard that would be, so he is here to help us. He will give us strength, and courage and wisdom. All we have to do ask and then accept His help. Sometimes that's the hardest part; asking and accepting. We have to give up control over our lives so that God can be in control. Which I think is a pretty good trade off, since He has our whole lives planned out, for the good of us. Make this your reality. Trust in God and ask Him for His life saving help. Don't settle for what the world has to offer, becuase it's pathetic when comared to what God has to offer. ---Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

sigh..

Wow... did not see that coming. =/

Some little game

You are so unknown to me
A good looking boy full of mystery
Smiles exchanged like some game
Everyday it continues the same
And when that night comes, we'll pretend
Why would we want to break the trend
I'll sit beside you, all full of smiles
Hopefully I can keep it up awhile
When we go dancing
There'll be no romancing
Across the dance floor we will parade
Just strangers in this little charade

More Than a Bit

There's a little girl named Lucy.
She's not your average teen, you see.
She will only date
to find her soul mate.
Away from puppy love she flees.

Now there's a teenage boy named Trey.
He doesn't quite see things Lucy's way.
Holding hands and kissing,
these shouldn't be missing.
He's lost in the moment of the day.

Their thoughts are very opposite,
yet his love for her hasn't quit.
He keeps asking for more,
so she points to the door.
She guards her heart more than a bit.

Bits from --FOCUS WEEKEND--

I will forever and always be a fan of Tim Tam Slams.
I love my Bee.
One-on-ones are pretty much amazing.
I'm okay with this.
When I come back from camp I make a lot more weird sounds that usual.
The transition from bubble to reality is always hard.
I'm so happy to be starting the summer with so much hope for the next school year.
I love the new wash-houses. I don't dread taking showers anymore.
The thought of being a counsellor is a little scary.
I'm in love with a little Haitian boy named Nate.
I just love God so much.

The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
Psalm 145: 18

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8

Pickles, cheese and crackers

I'm going to eat lots and lots until I become fat.
(Which is hard to become when your mom buys 'lite' cheese. What is this world coming too?!)

To my unknown boy:

I'm waiting here patiently for you.
Some days are easier than others,
but I promise I'll be here.
I don't know how much longer
or shorter your journey is.
Just please don't give up.
Keep searching, because I'll be here.
Waiting.
When you find me,
I won't be a dead deer.
Your search may be over,
but the pursuit has just begun.
So don't give up.
I need to know that you think
I'm worth the effort.
I don't need fancy gifts
and I don't need to eat expensive food.
When it comes down to it,
I just want to spend time with you.
A walk around the lake.
A pic-nic in the park.
Star gazing.
Less is more;
simplicity.
Just you and me, baby.

And things aren’t as they seem, they’re so in between

R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
it's right up there with chivalry.
The world might say differently,
but that doesn't mean a thing to me.

Chicka-pow!

I should have worn capri sweatpants everyday of this semester.
I should have shaved my head as well, and done other unattractive things.

Then: BANG!
Multiple problems gone like Old Yeller.

Chuga Chuga Choo Choo!

The world says that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy.
But what does God say?

For The Moments I Feel Faint

"I'm at war with the world and they
Try to pull me into the dark
I struggle to find my faith
As I'm slippin' from your arms


It's getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
You breathe into me at last


I'll stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake and I'm alive


I'm at war with the world cause I
Ain't never gonna sell my soul
I've already made up my mind
No matter what I can't be bought or sold


When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again

In the dark
I can feel you in my sleep
In your arms I feel you breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to you
Forever I will live for you"

-Awake and Alive by Skillet

Well, Jesus Loves You

He looks as though he's got it all together,
but I can see through the act he puts on.
I can see the unhappiness and pain in his eyes,
and the discontentment the tries to hide.
My heart breaks for him,
as he searches for his worth.
For I know he won't find it
in the smoking or drinking or girls.
I wish I could tell him this,
but I don't know what I would say.
Could I tell him that his identity is in God?
Next time he says: "I hate you"
could I tell him: "Jesus loves you."

This is the plan, Stan

Goal: become fluent in español

So, what d'ya wanna be?!

I don't wanna be a dead deer.
I don't wanna be a dead deer.
I think my logic is pretty clear.
I don't wanna be a dead deer.

*Dedicated to Jessica and Linds.

Hello, my name is Star

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
shine so bright for all to see.
Stand up against the wind and rain,
don't hide or cower in a tree.

Twinkle, twinkle little stars,
don't stop shining white.
Hold firm against the chaos,
persevere through the dark of night.

---------
Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.
Philippians 2:14-16a

Absorbed and Unaware

In the hallway he goes unnoticed,
everyone is absorbed in themselves.
He trudges along from class to class,
trying hard to forget the past.

In the classroom they work to torment him,
not realizing the harm they've done.
They have no mercy on this poor boy,
his feelings are never considered.

Class after class the bullying persists,
they can't see past his differences.
They laugh and mock and tease and judge,
which crushes his self-confidence.

I pray that they will soon understand,
that differences are not diseases.
I pray that God will soften their hearts,
and show them they need to make changes.

---------
Accept one another, then,
just as Christ accepted you,
in order to bring praise to God.
-Romans 15:7

The Way We Roll

Don't let them say, "This is the way that you are".

I love being different from everyone, even if it is so very challenging and exhausting and a lot of other things.
Even if most people at school don't understand.
Even if I stick out like a sore thumb.
Even if people think I'm crazy for not wearing short shorts, for not going to parties and for not drinking.
It's definitely worth it.
To see how God is working in my life and through me.
I can't even explain it, I'm just so excited to be in this great big plan that God has made. The same God that created the stars and the mountains with the snow caps and everything beautiful and awe-inspiring.
It's definitely a cool feeling.

------------

Romans 12:1-2:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Constructive or destructive?

All this time,
     have I been guarding my heart,
or building up fortified walls?

my mind is on a merry-go-round.

Ahhh! All the distractions. How am I to stay focused?

I'm pressing on

Exhausted. Worn out. Discouraged. Disappointed.
That's school.
Only one. Stand out. Separate. Different.
That's being a Christian at school.

And then there at little nudges of encouragement here and there.
Like a small voice that says, "Keep going. You can do it."

Like when the skid/smoker kid that sits behind you in two classes decides he is going to try to stop swearing.
I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty cool.


So, to sum it up:
I love Jesus.
(Yes I do! I love Jesus, how bout YOU?!)

Road Trip??

Our focus has shifted, our balance is off center.
Somewhere, somehow we took a wrong turn.
And now we're left to deal with the consequences.
The consequences of not knowing what it could be like.
Untill we step outside and change our perseption.
Until we see what it should have been and what it could be.
And realize we are missing out. Big time.
-------


How could North America go so worng?
Where is the community?
Why are we not family oriented?
Why are we so focused about how many things we can do in a day and how productive we can be?
Why are we so self focused and self absorbed.
Sigh! I want to live somewhere other than North America.

Ummm, yeah

Maybe you should have picked someone else.
I have a feeling I'm just going to end up disappointing you.



Sorry

She dies without direct sunlight

I can't write anything worth reading when I'm stressed...
this is very inconvenient.
And I seem to be stressed alot, this is not an ideal situation!


Dear Self:
Manage your stress better! Sheesh!

Nonsense

I'm glad to see you respect me, it's so refreshing.

Social is depression... genocide.

God is so good, He's so good to me.

I love having someone who understands me and sees the problems with the world that I see.

Boy, you make me nervous and scared. I don't know what to do. Sorry for avoiding you today.

"My oh my what a beautiful day outside
Hey hey what a beautiful day"

I can't beleive you called me a wench. Why do you constantly think that you have to be mean to me?? Are you trying to prove some point, or what is going on?!

I love summer and camp and sunshine. I also like to draw dinosaurs. RAWR!

It's fun to see people's reactions when I don't fit in thier nice, neat little box of how everyone should act.

As a very skilled writer put it:

"I've lost mostly all regard for the rules of society. Thankfully my moral code still stands."
"I want to run, to scream, break established boundaries, be reckless. I want to do something different, I want to live something different. I need my high, my adrenaline, my God, you to take the hint."

(Instert Creative Title Here)

Today was mixed with little surges of joy among the incessant hours I spent writing tests.

An encouraging letter from a friend.
Hugs good bye.
And an "I'm gunna miss you Jayda."

I think that no matter who the "I miss you" comes from, it's going to make you feel good.
That's what I realized today.
It just feels good to know that you make a difference in someones life enough for them to miss you.

So, now I'm ready for adventures in the far far away land of China.
All my stress has melted away.
And I am hap hap happy. =)

All I have to do now is packk...

Wake Up You Sleepy Heads, Get Out Of Bed

Wake-up little one.
The sun is shining and the day is waiting.
Take in the rays and receive the warmth.
There is a grand adventure outside your door.

Open those sweet eyes, little one.
There are sights to see and hearts to change.
Step out and wash this city clean.
The dirt has dulled their motivation.

Little one, oh little one.
How can you rest in slumber?
We need warriors to fight this battle.
You’ll never start a revolution in your sleep.

Thank you God

for fellowship.
for being able to pray in public.
for the people that are bold about their faith and how they encourage the rest of us.
for the simple beauty of a rose.
for smiles and giggles and tears.


And God,
thank you for loving someone like me.

a confession to the brokenhearted

can i fix this tonight
this whirl wind of emotion
i don't know up from down or left from right

i only know how to make a mess
and now i fear it's too late
i can feel the weight of the problem as my lungs start to compress

i should have warned you
i'm clutsy and i break the most precious things
please know i make mistakes and i really don't mean to

Crayons Can Melt On Us For All I Care

I'll be your Buttercup,
if you be my Wesley.

Boo Bop Shoo-Bop Wooo!

Another year older.
Another year past.
I hope this new year is as good as the last.
Another year for adventure.
Another year for fun.
Maybe I will bake cinnamon buns.
Another year for learning.
Another year for growing.
I might even become a pro at throwing.
(Like, throwing a frisbee all the way around the world. It is a possibility, since, you know, it's been done before.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoHXkmBh3F4&feature=channel

Always Waiting For Anything But Now...

I constantly have those "I miss LITE Force" moments.

I should mind my Ps and Qs

That went splat.
A failed attempt.
Lacking encouragment and
producing annoyance.

sigh

Let's Just Float Away

I love this weightless feeling.
I don't know how to describe it.
I feel so free
now that I'm not taking IB.

Hey God,

I would really like to know what my talents are, please. I mean, tangible talents, like some people are good at sports, or music, or art, or drama, or photography... what am I good at?


And the question that I'm scared to ask.... Do I have any talents?

Real

You know, God is so good. That He would care about me. That He would write a Book filled with promises for me. That He desires to be in a relationship with me. That He pursues me for that relationship. And when I am weak and start believing the lies that I'm worthless, or a failure, or whatever else. And when I am just down right scared. He doesn't yell at me and tell me to stop crying. Instead, He pulls me into His lap, whipes away my tears and gives me His abundant strength and hope. I think that is so amazing. But He doesn't stop there. Then He speaks into my life with incredible promises that no one else could keep, except Him. And then he places people in my life to encourage me and walk along with me in this terrifying journey.
But what gets me is His grace. When you sit down and really think about it, it's so unfathomable. It's so hard for our simple little minds to comprehend something so vast and something so good. Because no mater how many times I fall away from Him, and no mater how many times I settle into the scum of my sin, He is always waiting for me to come back to Him so He can shower me with His forgiveness, mercy and love.

This made me smile:

It's Like Butter

Confidence.


Why is it so hard to hold on to?

He Delights in You

Dear child,
please turn away.
Avert your eyes
and cover your ears.

Don’t be distracted by the
alternatives
and fabrications.
Don’t let the lies consume you.

Dear child,
please turn away.
Guard your heart
and protect your mind.

Don’t be enticed by
cheap heroes.
Their promises of
protection,
sacrifice,
and love
hold no value.

Dear child,
please remember the truth.
Jesus is your rescuer
and lover of your soul.

The most epic love story is between
you and Him.

Dear child,
please embrace this love story.
Come near to Him
and He will come near to you.

It's a case of L-O-V-E

I love:

-Laughing
-Talking with a good friend
-Not having homework
-When people laugh at my lame jokes
-Sleeping in
-Listening to a song that reminds me of a great time with friends
-My LFers
-Chocolate chip cookies
-Laughing at embarrassing things I've done

All this pretty much sums up my 'highs' in the past couple days. =)

Hey, Hey, Hey, GOOD BYE!

---

I AM DONE.

FINISHED.

FIN.

WITH IB ENGLISH.

FOR THE REST OF

MY LIFE!!!

---

Lets Keep It Hush-hush

I am very challenged when it comes to co-ordinating colors.

Next Time Won't You Sing With Me?

"I've got the joy (joy) joy (joy) joy JOY!
2-3-4! Down in my heart, down in my heart,
down in heart to stay, down in my heart to stay!
Uh huh! YEAH! Uh huh! WOOO!"
--

SOS

I'm begging You,
I'm begging You,
I'm begging You,


to be my escape.

Not You But Me

In a world where "normal" is better
& black and white is safer,


I am the opposite.
Eccentric.
Quirky.
One-of-a-kind.
Colorful like a kaleidoscope.
Because that is me.
(not you but me)