My two cents worth

Purity: fleeing evil desires and pursuing righteousness. Purity is a lifestyle.

Sexual purity + emotional purity + spiritual purity = PURITY.

Not one or the other, but all three together.
We are called to care for our brothers and sisters in Christ,
to place them above ourselves and not make them stumble.
We are called to honor and respect each other as well as ourselves.

1 Thessalonians 4:7: For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.


"If we truly seek to live pure lives, we can't allow ourselves to detour for

even a second from the pursuit of righteousness."

Changes are good, lets see how long they last

Today was better than most. I think Paul was onto something when he said, "give thanks in all circumstances." Thanking God throughout the day really does make a difference. I'm in such a better frame of mind, than on any other typical Thursday.

Something that kills me though,

is watching my friends go through

struggles and stress and not being able

to help them or provide them with a solution.

This would be a proper time to use the word 'cyclical'

Cycles.
I'm sick of cycles.
Everything happens in cycles.
Here's a cycle:

Whoo I have a great relationship with Jesus ----> Okay... I need to start reading my Bible more ---> Oh, haven't read my Bible in a month. How did I get stuck in this apathy? ---> And then I slowly make my way back to the start.

I hate it everytime I get stuck at the bottom of that cycle, but once again that's where I am.

And I'm having such a hard time climbing back up.

Think you understand it, but you come up last

Just when I thought I understand something, I realize it's completely different than what I thought.

Growing up isn't just about being independent and making your own decisions.

It's about being responsible.
               submitting to authorities.
               accepting situations that are out of your control and don't go
               how you expected.
               being mature.
               giving people a chance, or a second chance.
               giving people the benefit of the doubt.
               having confidence in yourself.

Among other things.

It always seemed like we had no time at all

Walking towards each other
Our eyes connect
Smiles are exchaged
But that's the extent
I want to know you
But that time is spent
So what can we learn from this?
Stop wishing; just be content?

Not the Least Bit Daunting, Only Exciting

Some of my friends at school were talking about how close we are to finishing high school and how they've both cried at least once about graduating. (They're both girls by the way.) I was stunned by this-- that they are sad to graduate. I couldn't understand this. My feelings about graduation are completely the opposite.
I am ecstatic about graduating;
jump-up-and-down-go-crazy-psyco ecstatic about graduating.

I can't wait to experience new things and new places. (ie. Costa Rica) 
I can't wait to get on with the rest of my life.
I can't wait to learn about something that I really enjoy.
I can't wait to experience what I'm passionate about--Spanish and the people of that language.
I'm just so stoked for what God's got in store for me, because I know it's going to be something amazing. And honestly, I just can't picture myself doing some conventional job. Nope, no desk jobs for me!

The two girls asked me, "Won't you miss your friends?"
Well, yeah I will, but I know I'm only going to be gone for 10 months. and I figure if they're good friends, we'll keep in contact while I'm away.

Even if I struggle with having confidence in myself, I feel like I have a pretty good chunk of confidence in God regarding my future and I've just been kinda leaving it up to him. So, Costa Rica is the first step. After that.... who knows? (Only God.)

Not that I know how to change, I do it just the same.

I feel like I'm stuck.
What have I been doing all this time?
Living for myself? Mostly.
Going through the motions? Likely.
Do I want to change? Definitely.
Have I changed? Hardly.
I have good intentions, so what's going on?
Why is there no connection?

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

(Amanda's post titled "Mirrors" inspired me to write this.)

As you stare into your dirt covered mirror-- trying so hard to imagine what you might look like without the waste of the world distorting your reflection-- a man walks up behind you. He rests his hand gently on your shoulder and gazes into your mirror as you look up at him. You instantly know who he is and shrink down from his touch. You're ashamed. You don't want this man looking at your mirror, seeing the things that mar and stain your reflection-- all the lies you've succumbed to and all the harsh words that have been thrown at you. After taking a good look at your mirror, he looks down at you with a look that's so... gentle, loving, understating and sorrowful all at the same time. He reaches into his tool box and takes out a spray bottle and cloth. He then walks up to your mirror and sprays it with a soapy substance and starts rubbing the dirt away. He wipes with tenderness and purpose. He continues spraying and wiping until your mirror is freshly clean. But he's not finished. You watch him reach into his pocket. What could he be reaching for? He slowly pulls his hand out of his pocket, grasping a thick red Sharpie marker. He then proceeds to write on your unblemished mirror. You can't see what he has written until he moves aside. He turns and looks at you while you read his words.

Daughter, I love you dearly.
I will always love you, no matter what you do.
I have saved you by grace.
I am with you ALWAYS.
When you struggle I will lift you up.
When you're weary, I will unburden you.
You are beautiful, because I made you in my image.
Don't forget this, beloved.
Don't forget: I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Te amo.


Tears start sliding down your cheeks. He walks towards you, reaches out his hand and softly brushes away your tears. He then reaches out to you and takes you into a strong, warm hug. You can feel all your fear, anxiety, and shame melting away. You heave a huge sigh of relief and a smile pokes at the corners of your mouth. He continues embracing you, infusing you with his fulfilling love, all the while with a huge grin on his face that shines brighter than the sun. He has reason to be overjoyed-- his daughter is back home, in his arms.

Sometimes wishes don't come true

Birthdays would be alot more fun if I had friends to celebrate them with.

Try, try, try again.

The number says I'm an adult and oh do I try. I try to be confident and look confident, wearing nice clothes and having my make-up and hair done just right. But behind all those feeble attempts is a scared and lonely little girl.

Everyday life

I had a kind of minor revelation/epiphany recently:

Instead of wishing for something different, look around at what you've got, what's happening in life now, what you can't change and live life according to have you do have, not what you want or wish you had.

Cliche or not, this was a good realization for me. Although this may not fit with every situation, it's fits with mine, right now. I'm not saying to stop setting goals and wishing for those goals. I simply mean that sometimes it's better to just accept your current situation and work through it.