Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up

Last night was pretty fun./ I'm so glad he didn't ditch me for his gf./ He really is a nice guy and his family was so nice too./ Dancing wasn't a complete disaster, thank goodness./ An Fm Static song was definately played during the grad video and that made me smile.

I just want to be at camp so bad./ All these set backs are killing me./ How can I wait until August 2nd, now??/ I really hope that I can go out sooner.

Mexico is coming soon./ I can't wait to play with all those cute little Mexican kids./ Deep down I am Mexican and I should have been born in Mexico.
(And if you try to play around with her emotions
I'm gunna punch you in your stupid justin-bieber-face.)

I hate this feeling of loneliness and emptiness that sometimes sneaks up on me. It wears me out and tears me down. And I know deep down that I have no reason to feel like this, because of God's love for me. Yet somehow I end up sinking into those feelings over and over. sigh. ---That's the feeling I had after grad and sucked.

If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew

I had seen Him around here before. He didn't wear the look of wealth, but simplicity. Yet somehow, He carried an air of importance. And when we made eye contact, there was some kind of twinkle or glow in His eyes. I didn't know why His eyes were so different, but one day it struck me. It was love! And joy! Both in their purest forms. And His expressions; they were so strange. Like He knew me and even... understood me.

A time later while I was standing in my yard, He walked right up to me and told me to leave everything behind and follow Him. I looked over my shoulder at my house and began to imagine all my possessions and treasures. How could I live without them? How could I he happy without them? They were my life; they had been for so long. When I looked back at Him, I was drawn in and mesmerized by His eyes. They were so kind and reassuring. It sounds foolish, but with that look, I knew He loved me. I knew He loved me more than I could love the things that filled my house. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that I needed to follow this man. Chocked by all the emotions swelling inside my throat and my heart, I managed to whisper, "I will."

I didn't know it at the time, but that decision was the spark of a huge change in my life. After I left my house and all my things to follow this strange, mysterious, wonderful man, I came to realize how to really live --seize the day, make the most out of every moment, or how ever you choose to phrase it.

Those two whispered words were the beginning of my new life. Now, don't misunderstand the reality-- it wasn't always pie in the sky by and by. There were days, weeks, and even months when it was so painfully hard for me to keep walking with Him. There were times when I got lost because I strayed from Him and took a wrong turn. Or times when I purposefully ran the opposite way. But He had so much patience and forgiveness for me, time and time again. For he would always go out after me and bring me back, because his love never failed.

She's worth more than she's ever dreamed of.

Darling, your emptiness can be filled. I believe this without a shadow of a doubt. God wants to fill this hole inside of you. He can do this with a relationship with you. And lovely, he is waiting for a strong and intimate relationship with you. He wants you as you are. You don't have to change anything about yourself. I love this about God; that we can come to him so completely broken and a huge mess and he will take us-- no matter what. And God will use his relationship with us to change us and teach us.
Taking time to get to know Him and grow in Him by reading the Bible and praying is more than worth it. It's hard to to get to know someone if you don't spend time with them. One of the mistakes I made was thinking that I would be stronger in my faith and relationship with God almost immediately. And when that didn't happen within a few days, I'd get frustrated and discouraged. God eventually showed me that just like other relationships take time to form and strengthen, so does my relationship with Him. I have to take the time and make the time to read my Bible and pray. Through those things, God reveals himself to us more and more.
This is the only relationship that can transform our lives, fill our emptiness, and give us a purpose.

 And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17b-19

For my brown eyed girl.

For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
Isaiah 41:13

This is a promise from God, for you-- His daughter. God doesn't expect us to try to make it through our life on our own, leaning on our own strength. God knows how hard that would be, so he is here to help us. He will give us strength, and courage and wisdom. All we have to do ask and then accept His help. Sometimes that's the hardest part; asking and accepting. We have to give up control over our lives so that God can be in control. Which I think is a pretty good trade off, since He has our whole lives planned out, for the good of us. Make this your reality. Trust in God and ask Him for His life saving help. Don't settle for what the world has to offer, becuase it's pathetic when comared to what God has to offer. ---Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

sigh..

Wow... did not see that coming. =/

Some little game

You are so unknown to me
A good looking boy full of mystery
Smiles exchanged like some game
Everyday it continues the same
And when that night comes, we'll pretend
Why would we want to break the trend
I'll sit beside you, all full of smiles
Hopefully I can keep it up awhile
When we go dancing
There'll be no romancing
Across the dance floor we will parade
Just strangers in this little charade

More Than a Bit

There's a little girl named Lucy.
She's not your average teen, you see.
She will only date
to find her soul mate.
Away from puppy love she flees.

Now there's a teenage boy named Trey.
He doesn't quite see things Lucy's way.
Holding hands and kissing,
these shouldn't be missing.
He's lost in the moment of the day.

Their thoughts are very opposite,
yet his love for her hasn't quit.
He keeps asking for more,
so she points to the door.
She guards her heart more than a bit.

Bits from --FOCUS WEEKEND--

I will forever and always be a fan of Tim Tam Slams.
I love my Bee.
One-on-ones are pretty much amazing.
I'm okay with this.
When I come back from camp I make a lot more weird sounds that usual.
The transition from bubble to reality is always hard.
I'm so happy to be starting the summer with so much hope for the next school year.
I love the new wash-houses. I don't dread taking showers anymore.
The thought of being a counsellor is a little scary.
I'm in love with a little Haitian boy named Nate.
I just love God so much.

The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
Psalm 145: 18

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8

Pickles, cheese and crackers

I'm going to eat lots and lots until I become fat.
(Which is hard to become when your mom buys 'lite' cheese. What is this world coming too?!)

To my unknown boy:

I'm waiting here patiently for you.
Some days are easier than others,
but I promise I'll be here.
I don't know how much longer
or shorter your journey is.
Just please don't give up.
Keep searching, because I'll be here.
Waiting.
When you find me,
I won't be a dead deer.
Your search may be over,
but the pursuit has just begun.
So don't give up.
I need to know that you think
I'm worth the effort.
I don't need fancy gifts
and I don't need to eat expensive food.
When it comes down to it,
I just want to spend time with you.
A walk around the lake.
A pic-nic in the park.
Star gazing.
Less is more;
simplicity.
Just you and me, baby.

And things aren’t as they seem, they’re so in between

R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
it's right up there with chivalry.
The world might say differently,
but that doesn't mean a thing to me.

Chicka-pow!

I should have worn capri sweatpants everyday of this semester.
I should have shaved my head as well, and done other unattractive things.

Then: BANG!
Multiple problems gone like Old Yeller.

Chuga Chuga Choo Choo!

The world says that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy.
But what does God say?