A change in pace

I always seem to feel more.. alive when I don't have school.
Maybe it's because I'm not stuck somewhere I don't want to be all day long for 5 consecutive days in a row.
Or maybe it's because I get a break from being held against my will in a fluorescently lit prison.
Or maybe it's because I'm not shoving useless information into my mind that I probably won't use in the future.

I've found that school does a good job of turning my attitude negative, real fast.

Next week, once my dreaded opponent returns, I'll try something new and face it head on, with a smile upon my face.

A musician in the making

It really feels good to have something to work towards.
It's exciting and exhilarating.
And as Kayla says, "We're become well rounded individuals."
...even though my fingers are in agony.

No sé

I want this to be real. I want to have a real relationship with God. I don't want it to be superficial or cliché. As I reflect back on who I used to be, I can see that I was very good at being cliche and always giving "Sunday school" answers. I'm not satisfied with the 'easy, fluffy answers' anymore. I am also good at putting on a front and acting like I have everything in my life figured out, especially in the area of God. Which is incredibly far from the truth.

I don't want to be like this anymore.

So how do I change that?
By being more vulnerable with people?
By exposing my weaknesses and failures?
Do I even want to do that?

I don't want people to see me as a 'goody two shoes'. I find it very suffocating becuase once people stereotype me as such, they stop putting effort in to get to know me. And how many people want to hang out with a good two shoes? Not many. The only thing amusing about this is the expression on their faces when I do something to shake up their assumptions about me. With that being said, I'm very thankful for the people in my life that have gotten to know me past the stereotype.

I've been thinking about all this the past few months. I think I've realized a lot of things, but where does that leave me?

I'm not too sure yet.

Good Night

God showed me a little bit of himself tonight,
even though I have a hard time trusting him,
even though I let worry consume me,
even though I tend to rely on my own strength.

He showed me that he provides.



And my God will meet all your needs according to
His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Saved from the Grave

Our world is corrupt and depraved.
We all need to be saved
from the earthly things that we crave.
If we don't repent our home will soon be a grave.
So who wants to be brave
and accept the grace he gave?