More than I thought

This was a much better Christmas than I expected.
Confession: I actually wasn't looking foreward to Christmas.

I'm glad that we could do things as a family today, it was really nice. It was also really nice to bond with my little bro over video games and dutch blitz. We even go to talking about God and how he is a trinity and what that means. It was pretty cool.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

He's the remedy

I've been thinking a lot recently about how inadequate I am;
how broken and messed up and mixed up I am.
And how many times I've fallen and strayed away.
And how much I really don't deserve to be saved,
and don't deserve His grace or love or compassion,
because of all the times I have forgotten about Him
and do things my own way
and don't follow His will.

So, I'm incredibly thankful for God's unconditional love and faithfulness.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

I'm finally going to rest in his presence,
soak him in and just be with him.
With that being said, I think this will be a good Christmas holiday.

Nueva

Off with the old,
I'm ready for the new.
a new attitude,
a new perspective,
a new pace.
Just new, new, new, new, new.
This is a formal goodbye to complacency;
ADIEU!

Rawr.

As of late I've been subject to these little creeping doubts, and I don't much like it.

It shouldn't be this common

Complacency is that familiar turn off from the straight and narrow that continually presents itself. This turn off is marked with big neon signs practically shouting, "Turn this way!!" And many times we do, maybe because we get distracted or maybe because it's a familiar place. Whatever be the reason, walking down this new road really takes it's toll. It can break through resolves and passions, it can eat away persistence and strength, until we finally realize that we need to turn around. We then trudge back to the true road, maybe a little ashamed and embarrassed, maybe a few bruises and scratches, but ready to continue down the narrow road; definitely determined not to make a wrong turn again.
But sadly, many people never come to this realization and they keep walking down the path of destruction. Never fully understanding that this path was not meant for them.

I wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

The winter sun shines dull through the cold white sky,
I wish it were summer.
In this house I must stay, like a princess locked in a tower,
simply because I have nowhere to go and no one to see.
I wish it were summer.

I'm nothing without You

I need direction, some form of indication of the path that should be taken, maybe a revelation. I don't want to be mistaken on the decision I should be making.

Thoughts on community

There are so many people that are lost and broken and may not even know it. They go along in their lives making choices depending on what feels right, and that could really be anything. Most of it depends on our culture-- what is considered the norm. And sadly, living a godly life is not the norm, in fact it's polar opposite of the norm. This makes me feel disheartened sometimes, because continually fighting the norm is very wearing and if you let it, it'll tear you right down. This happens more when I am constantly around non-believers, because I do start to conform my behaviours and attitudes to that of everyone else and I usually don't notice at first. This is one the the reasons that I think it is so important to consistanly meet and fellowship and study God's Word with a group of believers. Provided that these believers are committed to encourage, challenge and build one another up, as well as studying God's Word. 

Community-- one word to sum it all up. We all need a good strong community, were we can be vulnerable, open, and trusting with each other. The only thing, is that I don't seem to be part of a community for very long. The communities that I have had a privilege to be a part of have only been temporary, but God has continually blessed me and provided for me in just the ways that I need. Which sometimes, I can forget that he knows my every need and he will provide for me.
Through being 'taken away' from different communities, I have learned a lot. I've learned that joy is not circumstantial, that trusting in God is essential, and that no matter what happens--no matter what people are in my life or not in my life or how many friends I do or don't have--God will provide. God always provides. God always keeps his promises and God is always faithful. And so, from knowing this,
I can bask in His peace.